21 self care tips for busy women to avoid feeling burned out
In modern day culture, as women we can tend to put ourselves under a huge amount of pressure to prove something……. often, that we can ‘handle it all’…….. that we can ‘be all things to all people’……. that we are ‘good enough….’
From personal experience as a busy mom with small children, living from this mentality leads to what is called ‘BURN OUT’.
DEFINITION: burn-out (NOUN)“emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress." "overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.”I can tell you, it is not pleasant or healthy for anyone including our beloved family. The thing about burn-out though, is that it can creep up on you while you thought you were doing just fine. You may find that you only realize you are running on empty when the effects start to show in how you treat yourself and others and how you react to life in general. You may find yourself lashing out or behaving the opposite by withdrawing.
Burn-out affects your attitude and motivation, taking away from all the hard work you may have been building on. (Read more on how to keep a positive attitude as a busy woman and mom here!) It can also spiral into mental health issues like depression, anxiety and emotional management imbalances.
I will be honest, sometimes I still have to pull myself out of a spiral, but from practice I have more clarity on how to consistently stay on track and avoid that drained state again. The trick is to make a plan.
I was inspired to open up in this space, and share some of the ways that I helped myself out of the state of burn-out. I am happy to share that there are methods and practices that keep me balanced and I believe they can be great working tools for you as well!
Step 1: change your thinking habits - realize that you can tell your mind what to think, and not the other way around.
Let us start there - yes you can be the boss of your mind, one thought at a time. Yes, you are the boss of you!
Here’s are 4 easy daily habits to master your mind in a few minutes a day: Positive affirmations
Self awareness check-in
Meditation (with kids too)
Journaling
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The power of positive affirmations for women
The thing is, a lot of our thinking is a habit we have formed over time. Once I fully understood that once you change your thinking, you can change your entire life, I was determined to make brand new habits for my mind and get rid of some old, self-defeating ways of thinking. In a nutshell, affirmations are words or sentences that encourage, comfort or declare an intention.
DEFINITION: intention (NOUN)“what one plans to do or bring about"“a determination to act a certain way"An intention is a ‘inner plan’ - it has it own power to affect how we think and behave.
Affirmations are the practice that makes our intentions a reality. When you repeat something to yourself, good or bad, in enough time, you will start to believe it and to act like it.
So why not positive affirmations for positive thinking and a positive inner world to create a positive everyday life?
A simple method that takes only a few minutes a day is to write down at least one affirmation in a journal daily. Writing it down is a sure way to remind yourself of your intentions and to hold yourself accountable and stay on track. Practice doing it regularly until it becomes a habit and soon you are thinking of your affirmations, saying them out loud and living as a more balanced version of you.
Truthfully, on some days, like me, you may have trouble coming up with positive affirmations for yourself. A guided journal is a great tool to inspire you with ideas!
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Why self-awareness is crucial in parenting
One of the most challenging things as a parent of young kids, especially under 10, is the fact that many times you are dealing with their emotions as well as yours at the same time. You the parent are tasked with figuring out what the child is feeling and helping them understand it and how to express it better and to cope with it. Meanwhile, your own feelings are affected and you may find that you get caught up in an emotional outburst that is not your own. I bet you have heard the funny term, ‘monkey see, monkey do…’ That is to say, our kids mirror our behaviors.
Our children will learn to cope as we do.
That is how crucial self-awareness is a parent.
(Read more on what self-awareness means and how to teach it children here!)
One thing that gives me hope and willingness is to remember that they are still just kids - and like me, they have to learn and practice how to deal with their emotions.
It is safe to say that emotions, for a woman especially, are like an ocean. They can be described as waves, they can come out of the blue and then be gone the next minute, changed. So how do we ride these waves and swim in the waters of everyday life without feeling like we are drowning?
I can share with you that a daily habit of self-awareness is a key to inner balance and being a good role model to young ones.
To put it simply, make a habit of checking in on yourself daily. Writing it down is a great method to keep track and make improvements.
Here are some prompts to give you ideas:
Ask yourself,
How I’m I feeling in my heart today? Name emotions _____________________________________________
What major things are on my mind? I’m I stressed or motivated? _____________________________________________
How is my body feeling? Energy levels, wellness and fitness _____________________________________________
How am I feeling about life in general? Past, present, future… _____________________________________________
Just a few example to get you started a few minutes a day.
Next, coming from this place of clarity, you can set powerful intentions for yourself, positively affecting your life and loved ones everyday!
Sample daily self-awareness prompts page from S.P.A guided journal for busy women
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How to make time to meditate as a mom
As though life is not busy enough trying to ‘adult’ as a woman, if you are a mom of young kids, the moments in your days probably sometimes feel like a blur. Another thing that I have experienced myself is that, sometimes at the end of the day, looking back I feel like I could have done better. When you are caught up in the fast pace of the day and it’s many demands, it is easy to react poorly and to miss out on precious moments because you had too much on your mind to juggle. One of the things that can bring me down as a mom is the feeling that I have not been fully present with my children.
I have also noticed that on the days I manage to be aware with them and self-aware with myself in the day, we as a family all seem to feel better and enjoy each other more.
You as a mother are the center of the home.
It is your calling to find your center as a woman.
(Read more on staying centered as a mom here!)
You may be wondering not only how to find your center, but how to remain centered no matter what disruptions life brings.
The secret to feeling centered is being still. To understand how to be still, learning about meditation is a proven practice to begin.
DEFINITION: meditation (NOUN) - “breathing practices and thinking techniques that teach mind and body to remain calm and respond with clarity. ”There are many different methods to meditate, the most common one being, deep mindful breathing. We are talking about meditating, not only while alone in a quiet space, but also training yourself to meditate in the middle of the more stormy periods of daily life, with others present as well.
Yes you can train yourself how to be still and how to maintain your stillness to affect others around you positively.
For an example, let us imagine a moment in you and your kids day that brings on stressful feelings - say a temper tantrum over a lollipop or a ‘hangry’ mom outburst (oops) ...
Now, can you imagine yourself being so well practiced at meditation that you are able to remain still, breathe calmly, affirm positive words and bring everyones mood to calmness and clear communication….
I have learned (and continue to learn along with you!) tricks on how to practice stillness as a mother, all day every day no matter what:
Tip: to teach meditation to little kids, make it a lot like play! Here’s an example:
Suggest >
“Can we try to breath in and out very slowly and count….”
“Let’s see how still and silent we can be until we start to feel better....”
“Can we think of something that makes us smile and feel like we want to say Thank You...”
“Can we say how we are feeling and ask for what we want with nice gentle words…?”
“Can we hug or shake hands or fist bump and try to be good friends…”
The magic of practicing meditation with your children is that it gives them good coping skills for life as well. There is beauty in sharing inner growth with your precious loved ones and seeing the joy increase in your lives!
Sample meditation tricks poster for moms and kids from A.B.C Daily Habits guided journal for kids
How to start a journal for women
As you embark on your journey forming positive mental habits as a busy woman and mom, I can not praise the benefits of writing it down. Looking back on my journals that helped me learn how to practice mindfulness daily, I feel reminded of my own intentions, held accountable by my own promises to myself, encouraged and proud of my progress in personal growth and healing.
I am so glad to have you in this space where I share some of my practices, especially my tried and true favorite: guided journaling
21 journaling prompts to bring peace to your days as a busy woman
Click image to save tips to Pinterest!
If you feel like guided ideas on how to begin and maintain inner self-care habits would help you bring the change you want in your life, you will find the S.P.A (Serenity. Purpose. Attitude.) guided journal an enjoyable journey within!
It is a refreshing 21-week, daily journal that follows a personal growth theme for every week.
It is helpful for women with busy lives and mothers with busy homes.
Set up with daily prompts to check-in to your mind, heart and body, it is designed to put the pen to your life story in your hands in just a few minutes a day.
To guide you further, each week has great famous quotes on Serenity, Purpose and Attitude to keep you easily inspired, motivated and focused.
Here is how well planned out having a S.P.A moment every day is for you!
*CLICK the journal page below to check out the book for yourself.*
*Click to learn more*
*Click to learn more *
I feel grateful to be able to share my journey with you in honest and creative ways and I hope it adds positivity to your daily life! Please read more…
Best vibes,
Caroline
